Woman of the Night's Watch
by TheTenthDoctorIsMyGuardian
Summary: When Jon stands upon the Wall at night, watching out for Wildlings, he is shocked to find Myllenna, the only sworn sister of the Night's Watch. My first GOT fic, originally written for a facebook random giveaway. Reviews are welcome! (Rated T because it's Game of Thrones)


It was during Jon Snow's first week as a sworn brother of the Night's Watch when he noticed someone who didn't belong. An outsider, so it seemed. Even underneath all the black furs and coats – the only way to keep your blood from freezing when you walk upon the Wall is to never stop moving and wear everything you can – the strangeness of it was as clear as summer sky. It was a woman.

The Night's Watch was a failing army. Some may say it has already failed. It consisted on less than one thousand men, most of them thieves, rapers and murderers. The Night's Watch accepted every man willing to join, even if most only did so to escape the price of their crimes. But all those who had decided upon themselves to take the Black knew there was a price for this as well.

All men of the Night's Watch vow to take no wife hold no lands and father no children. Many did not understand this, but it was so that the brothers will feel no love. It was so the only place they will ever belong in was the Wall. At times, it was what kept men from deserting.

This was also one of many reasons the Night's Watch accepted no women. And yet there she was, standing so close to the edge of the Wall for a moment Jon feared she might jump. The snow was heavy and the winds were strong, so Jon kept away from the edge, just in case. But she stood there fearlessly, staring down at the painfully white snow in a blank expression. Her black hair was cut short like a man's, but Jon saw no point to it. She did not have the face of a man. If she wished to hide herself, tell the world she was nothing but one of them, this was not the way. Her dark onyx eyes moved away from the snow below them and fixed on the bastard's face. "What's the matter, boy?" she asked in a toneless voice. "Never seen a woman before?"

Jon realized he has been staring at her and suddenly didn't know what to do with himself. He looked away abruptly.

The woman laughed. His discomfort must have been visible. "What's your name, boy?" she asked.

"Jon Snow," said Jon, somewhat angry. "And I am no boy, but a man of the Night's Watch."

The woman snorted and looked away from him, now staring ahead into the dark night sky. "You are a boy to believe there is any honor in what we do," she said, once again tonelessly. Then she turned silent.

Jon was a bastard. Being a bastard, he learned at an early age not to stick his nose into business that were not his own. Yet sometimes, although not often, his curiosity got the better of him.

"What is your name?" he asked. It was not what he truly wanted to know, but he thought it was best if he asked for her name first. It seemed the polite thing to do.

She looked back at him. "Myllenna," she said. She seemed surprised he asked for her name. Jon supposed most knew. Being the only woman in the Night's Watch, he was surprised he didn't know of her himself.

"Why do they call you Lord Snow?" asked Myllenna, disturbing his trail of thoughts. "I've seen you before, here and there, and your friends called you that. Why?"

Jon was surprised by her question, but decided you answer nevertheless. "Because my father was Lord Eddard Stark," he explained, and watched her face to see how they change, but they didn't. Most people's expressions changed when he told them of his father, but she remained indifferent to everything, so it seemed.

"Did you know, Lord Snow," she said, "that if we met before joining the Night's Watch I would have killed you on spot?"

Jon was determined not to let his confusion show. "Why?" he asked.

"Because it was your father's man who killed my father," she said indifferently. "In King Robert's rebellion. I can't kill you now, of course. We leave our pasts behind when we take our vows."

Jon looked at her, not knowing what to make of her. Does she really care as little as she lets people see? "Do you tell everyone about your dead father?" he asked, irritated.

"No," she said. "Only those whose fathers were responsible for his death." She looked at him with blank eyes. "You've been staring at me since the moment you saw me. Don't think I'm not used to it. I know I seem like a black crow on white snow to you. It seemed like you wanted to know what I'm doing here. Do you?"

Jon hesitated. He was confused by her behavior. Everything she said sounded so simple and emotionless. He thought of his sisters, Sansa and Arya, who never showed such indifference. Then he thought of Lady Catelyn, and remembered how before he left, he went to say goodbye to Bran, his little brother, who fell off one of Winterfell's towers and slept for months. The last thing she said to him before he left was, "It should have been you." It seemed to him women were not capable of indifference, but Myllenna proved him wrong.

"The Night's Watch only accepts men," he said carefully.

Myllenna nodded. "So it does. Yet here I am. You want to know how, don't you?"

Jon found himself nodding.

Myllenna smiled. "Very well, Lord Snow," she said. "We shall be here long. We might as well spend the nights telling stories.

"Not everyone is born to a noble lord like you. My father was a butcher. He never held a weapon more deadly than his knives, yet when war came, he found himself with a spear in hand and was shoved into the battlefield. He was killed on his first day. I was a child of four. I can't remember his face anymore. My brother had to support for the family. A boy of sixteen."

"_Man_ of sixteen," Jon objected.

Myllenna shook her head. "Sixteen is still as green as spring grass," she said. "Not old enough to care for yourself, not to mention a mother and a sister. And so, I was on the streets.

"It was hard to find food at first. But I learned fast. When my father was alive we lived in King's Landing, but I didn't like the place. Too noisy and too full of people. It was easier to get food this way, but harder to do it with just. But I knew I wouldn't last on my own, so I waited until I was fourteen. Still a child, but it's easier to take care of yourself when you're fourteen than when you're ten. I didn't know where I wanted to go, so I didn't take any maps. They were harder to steal anyway. Not as hard as a horse, but that was necessary. So I stole a horse, a fine stallion the color of my hair. I named him 'Ink' because I didn't know what his real masters used to call him. I rode for months. I took a sword I stole from a forge once and a knife I stole from my brother when I left. I hunted by throwing knives. The sword was unhelpful. One time it rained for a whole day. By the time I made camp it stopped but I couldn't light a fire. So my choices were going to sleep hungry and cold, or make do. It was cold and I was wet and I knew I had to light a fire. So I took my knife and I cut off my hair and used it instead of wood. It burned nicely.

"I know I don't look like a man, even with my hair short. But back then, I did, and once I cut my hair, people I came across on my way always referred to me as a boy. I never corrected them. I supposed this way at least I won't get raped.

"One day I was riding, just like that, wondering where to go next, when I came across three men on horses, all dressed in black. I didn't think much about them, not right away, but as night fell I started wondering. Where was I even going? Where do I belong? What will happen to me if I just keep wandering on Ink? Will I ever find my place? I knew the Night's Watch didn't take women, but I was half mad by then. I was sick of riding and sick of throwing knives at animals to keep myself fed and sick of being alone. I don't even know what I was thinking. But I mounted Ink and rode back. I knew where the North was, and they were probably heading for the Wall, but I didn't know if I'll find them. But I did. They didn't even make camp yet. I asked to come with them. They didn't see I wasn't a man. For all they knew, I was just like them, and the Night's Watch always needed more men. They hardly had a choice, so they let me go to the Wall with them.

"You might think riding with them wasn't much different of riding on my own, but it was. It was harder sometimes, because now I had to pretend to be looking for firewood to go take a piss, but it was also so much easier. Not even just getting food. It was so much easier when I had company. It was easy to pretend I was a man and still have a conversation with them. They became my first friends in years.

"We reached the Wall. I was terrified of being caught, but I knew I couldn't run now, not after I've gone all this way. I managed to keep hold of my false identity until after taking my vows and into my first time north of the Wall. There was a Wildling ambush. We weren't ready. We lost two men. Two brothers. I killed three Wildlings. They were my first blood. We managed to flee back to the Wall, but one of them saw me pissing on our way back. I left the Wall as one of them and returned a prisoner." She laughed. "You should have seen the Old Bear when they told him. I never saw him so shocked. Of course, the shock became fury very quickly. He didn't know what to do with me. Eventually he wanted to sell me off to the nearest whorehouse, but then the rangers spoke up. They said I was one of them and called me a man of the Night's Watch. They told Mormont he couldn't sell a man of the Night's Watch to a whorehouse, and so he couldn't sell me. I thought he was going to tell them off, but he didn't. He still can't look me in the eyes, but he let me stay after telling me that if I ever fuck any of his men he'll get rid of me somehow."

Jon was fascinated by her story. It seemed to him she really was a man of the Night's Watch, even if she wasn't really a man. She reminded him of his sister Arya. He wondered where she was.

"So," said Myllenna. "What's your story, bastard?"

Jon smirked. "I'm just Ned Stark's bastard."

Myllenna gave him an amused look. "We're still not half-through the night," she said, "and I only have one life story. It's your turn, Snow."

Jon looked up to the sky and watched the stars shining. "Alright," he yielded. "But in my story I get to take a piss without hiding."


End file.
